How to Act Without Attachment?

Question

Sister, as we work on our soul — on awakening the Self — sometimes we face real-life conflicts.
For example, suppose I’m traveling by train and someone comes and sits in my reserved seat.
Now, if I ask that person to get up, or if there’s some argument over the seat, does that mean I’ve become attached to it?
Or what should be my correct behavior in that situation according to dharma?

Answer

See, duty (kartavya) comes first.

When we talk about recognizing our true Self, it’s not so that we leave everything to the mind.
We must not let the mind control our life.
There must be someone who holds the reins of the mind — someone within who exercises control over it.

Who is that?
The Self — the “I” within.

That “I” — the soul — is the one who must awaken and take charge.

Let’s take your train example.
Someone has taken your seat, which is rightfully yours.
When you tell them, “Excuse me, this is my seat, please vacate it,” on what authority do you say that?
You say it with the authority of the awakened I.
You are not the mind at that moment — you are the conscious being who knows what is right.

There is nothing wrong in saying that politely but firmly, because you are acting from awareness — not from anger, not from attachment, but from clarity of your duty.

When the I is asleep and the mind is running the show, then confusion begins.
The mind will give you ten different thoughts at once:
“Should I say something?” “No, let it go.” “But it’s my seat!”
This is the constant noise of the mind.

But when the I — the conscious Self — awakens and takes the reins, then you act with quiet authority, not in conflict or restlessness.

We must bring that inner “I” — the Self — into charge, because right now it is asleep.
Our mind and intellect belong to the body, and the one who must control them is the Self.

Think of the body as a car.
The car cannot drive itself — it needs a driver.
If the driver falls asleep or is intoxicated, the car will go off track.
That’s our situation.

The car is fine — our body and mind are capable — but the driver, the Self, is asleep.
We must wake that driver up.

That is why we constantly speak of atma-svaroop ki pehchaan — recognizing the Self.
It means: awaken the real driver, the real “I,” who is the consciousness that governs the body, mind, and senses.

So, in your example, if someone sits on your seat and you are aware of yourself as the conscious soul — not the body — then you will simply, calmly, and firmly say, “This seat is mine, please vacate it.”
That is your duty, not attachment.

Question

So, does that mean we should perform all actions — national duties, personal duties, social duties — but without attachment, simply as duties arising from Self-awareness?

Answer

Exactly.
We must act from the sense of duty, not from attachment.

But for that, we must first rise above the turmoil of the mind.
The mind is always restless — like the battle of Mahabharata going on inside us every moment.
One thought says one thing, another says something else.

That inner conflict continues all day.
So who will control that restlessness?
The Self — the real “I.”

When that “I” awakens, it becomes the master.
The mind and intellect are only servants — instruments.

The Bhagavad Gita says:

“Over the senses is the mind, over the mind is the intellect, and beyond the intellect is the Self.”

So the order of control is:
Senses → Mind → Intellect → Self.

When the Self, the “I,” becomes the master, life comes into order.
We must not let our servants — the mind, intellect, and senses — become our masters.
We must remain the conscious owner and driver of this body–vehicle.

It’s simple: your body is like a car.
It has brakes and gears, but you must be the one at the wheel.
Don’t leave the car to drive itself.

If the driver (the Self) is awake, the car (the body and mind) moves rightly.
If the driver sleeps, the car loses direction.

Spirituality simply means becoming the master again — awakening the driver.

When someone says something unpleasant to you and you instantly react — that reaction comes from the mind and intellect, not from the awakened Self.

If you are the master, you won’t react.
You will observe, stay calm, and respond with awareness.

That’s how this understanding becomes practical — by applying it in daily life.
Just understanding it theoretically is not enough; we must practice it in real situations.

Whenever anything disturbs you, try to act as the aware driver — the Self — not the restless passenger called the mind.
Then you will see what true control feels like.